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uneasy with ease

Knitters know that ease is an important part of fit when you're choosing what size sweater to knit. Get it wrong, and the look of the thing is...wrong. Or maybe it's fine. Knitting stretches; it's forgiving.

Now that I'm smallenizing, I'm trying to dress more about what actually fits this changing body and less about simple comfort. I still want to be comfy. But it's not feeling nice to wear things that are hanging off me. Things that fit closer to my body feel better, except it's such a foreign feeling. I don't think I've been this size since the 2000s.


I just traded my ole faithful jean shorts for a pair two sizes smaller and they're still a bit loose at the waist till I sit down and then they're snug. And I know this is a thing that not everyone either thinks about or cares about. This is what bodies do, right? They puff out when bent at the waist?


Being neurodivergent, for me, comes with a trunkful of sensory overloads in every category (too much sun in my face! too hot! too loud! too smelly!), and a too-tight waistband can make me cross and annoyed until I take it off. But one too loose that keeps falling down does the same thing.


So either I start wearing only knitted clothing, right down to my pants, or I learn how to live with a waistband that's relatively closely matched to my actual waist size. How does one do that? Exposure therapy? Will I ever be able to stand wearing a belt again?


PS 45 lbs down as of today.


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