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when it stops being so easy


It had to happen sometime.


The magic of Ozempic for me is how it shut down, nearly completely, the endless food chatter in my brain. The "I want something now" feeling, even after I've just eaten. The "I'm out and deserve a treat" thoughts, which were constant before the drug, and rarely happened for almost a year while taking it.


I'm still taking it  – 18 months now – at the same 1mg dose as always, and it looks like my insurance company is going to stop paying for it. So I can't increase the dose; it's already expensive enough. It still works to make me unable to eat more than a normal/small portion of whatever I'm having. Two small pieces of pizza is all I can do, for example.


Now, I find myself wanting so often. Thinking about what I might nibble, and it's not because I'm hungry. It never was. For me, a combination of childhood trauma and undiagnosed ADHD has resulted in food being my drug for my whole life. Knowing this hasn't helped me not want the things, though. The only thing that helped was Ozempic.


In a panic, I turned to my GP who recommended I add Naltrexone (half of the drug Contrave, which is one way people fight overeating). I was in, and then I got a few pills (the pharmacy couldn't fill the whole Rx) and the pamphlet. I read the pamphlet. It advised me to get a medicAlert bracelet. I read about what would be either dangerous (opioids...okay, not an issue for me) or ineffective (cannabis) while on the drug. And that even after stopping, I would be oversensitive to opioids if I needed them (surgery, whatever).


I have never liked alcohol. I have maybe 2 drinks a year. Cannabis, now that it's legal where I live, is my one let-loose indulgence. Once a week. I don't need it, but it is nice for sometimes uptight me to have a way to let loose.


I'm not filling the rest of the prescription, and I didn't take any of the few pills I have.


I searched the Ozempic and Wegovy support group on FB for what others have done. Some talked about upping the dose. (Can't afford that.) Others mentioned CBT, and yeah, it's time I tried to reprogram this brain a little. So I'm going to have to pursue that.


A few mentioned Vyvanse, which is a drug given for ADHD that also helps with binge eating disorder.


When I started the process of finding the right ADHD med for me, Vyvanse was on the menu, but I didn't last long while taking it. At therapeutic doses, I felt like it was giving me muscle pain and I got super freaked out. However, I am getting ADHD support by taking Strattera instead, so I don't need an ADHD-therapeutic dose of Vyvanse. I'm calling the doctor tomorrow. Perhaps this could be the answer for me.


By the way, I am not "what do I weigh" focused as I go through this process, but I am comforted by the fact that my loss held steady at 70 lbs for quite a while even as the food chatter resumed, and now is up to 72 lbs.


I have sold or given away my fat clothes. I am not going back there. If I end up this size for the rest of my life, I will be more than happy with that. I can walk distances again. I can buy clothes in almost every store. I feel good in my body.


I just want my damned brain to stop making me want things my body doesn't need.

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